Baby Eating Clarice

Last night George woke up at 3am crying to go to the bathroom. I find this funny because during daytime hours his usual potty MO is to shout, "I have to pee!" Then rips his diaper off like Magic Mike removing his track pants, and pees on the floor, or runs to the back door, and to my astonishment, unlocks the knob, two deadbolts and the screen, then runs to the grass and pees.
George and I cruised down the hall to the bathroom, and I propped him on the toilet, but not far enough back, so his pee shot from where he was sitting, arcing three feet and miraculously landing in the bathtub. After recovering from the excitement of watching his pee shoot out of him like a garden hose, I put a new diaper on him, and tucked him back in bed.
We woke up and went to music class. I pulled Kiki from the car screaming, "My shoe is not tied tight enough!"
A friend pulled up next to me and said, "One of those days!" I had to shrug it off because it was an isolated incidence, we were actually having a great day. Then my friend, who was pulling her two grandkids out of the car, gave me a look like she was going to give me some hush hush top secret information, and I decided to lean in. She said, "You know that girl, Clarice?"
I said, "Sure. She's hard to miss!" because Clarice is our music class' Godzilla.
"Well, she just can't keep her hands to herself. I don't know whats wrong with her mom, but she doesn't ever pull her off the babies!"
My friend is right. Clarice acts like a baby obsessed little girl, running at babies with the intention of saying "gucci gucci goo!" from a respectful distance, but then she lunges, trying to pick the baby up, and eventually falling over on top of it.
Clarice's favorite target is baby Audrey, who is a tiny little girl, maybe a little over a year old. Audrey's mom has not reached a breaking point, which is going to happen soon, where she tells Clarice, "Get the fuck away from my baby before I spank your ass!"
Clarice follows poor Audrey around, smiling like she is going to devour her, as Audrey toddles at full speed with a look of horror on her face. Clarice always catches up, and Audrey always ends up crying. Clarice's mom must smoke two joints before going into class because she looks on the scene with such adoration, as if the two were peacefully stacking blocks, and every other parent in the class looks on cringing.
Maybe Audrey will surprise us one day, and flip around and eye gorge Clarice, but I doubt it, Clarice would probably eat Audrey's hand off as it came close to her face. Clarice has not tried to attack my kids because they aren't small enough for her to manhandle, but if she tried George could always show her his new potty trick. A golden shower just might stop her in her tracks.
It would never come to that because, unlike Audrey's mom who trusts Clarice won't go homicidal,  I'm skeptical of her. As Clarice came at George looking like she wants to chew him up, I'd intervene, jumping like Randy Man Savage from the baby gate surrounding the classroom, and belly flopping on top of her.