Better Off Hit By A Car

Don't hit me!! It was a dream from a lifetime ago.

Last night, shortly after falling asleep, I woke up from a nightmare. I dreamt a violent sequence, of which, I mostly remember someone bloody and beaten, tied to a chair, having their brains extracted through their nose with a meat hook. I was scared to fall back to sleep because I didn't want to have another dream like this. I was also scared this awful scene could be a premonition of some sort, making my return to a restful state rather difficult. I checked the time, it was only 9:40.
The other day I watched a dream analyst on The Real Housewives of New York. The gals shared dreams of teeth falling out or feet being stuck when needing to move, the kind of things a Google search would suffice rather than an in-the-flesh dream analyst.
My reoccurring dream is finding myself in a panic, realizing I forgot to attend a class for the entire term, and that day is the final exam that I will undoubtedly fail. I think the dream shows I have post traumatic stress from many years of school. Finals week was always a torturous time, but I managed to pull through, feeling euphoric relief when the tests were over, and always performing better than expected.
The weeks leading up to finals, I'd worry endlessly. I'd be so stricken by stress that I'd often wish I'd be hit by a car. The desire would strike as I marched out of the library to the parking lot. I'd think, "If only I'd get hit by a car, right now. I'd be hospitalized through finals, and my teachers would need to give me a passing score."
My little sister, Becky, went to school in Brownsville, Texas, which is, as she says and many others, the ugliest place on earth. If you Google "Brownsville and Shithole" there are hundreds of links. My sister was walking to her dorm room during finals week, and as she crossed zebra stripes in the road, a car ran right into her, flinging her body onto the hood of the car. The driver jumped out of the car in fear, thinking he just killed someone. Aside from a bruise on her hip, she was fine, but the driver, on the other hand, began unraveling into a stage-5 panic attack. He kept asking Becky, "Are you okay? Are you sure you're alright?" and Becky kept reassuring him she was fine.
She said it came to a point where she found herself comforting him with back-rubbing sympathy. Maybe he thought he was talking to a ghost, but she tired of soothing the man who just ran into her, and realized she needed to get back to studying. After saying goodbye, she limped away from the scene. Hearing her tell me this story is one of those sad times where dreams fall short in reality, since she still had to study and sit for her exam.

I told my mom about my reoccurring dream of finals panic, and she said, "Stress, Alicia. It's stress." My mom should look into being a dream analyst, because that is a pretty spot on interpretation. The dream is like a gun shot to my chest of anxiety, panic and stress, and when I wake up, I feel a million times better knowing I didn't fail to complete my education, waste thousands of dollars and disappoint my watchful family because I simply forgot to go to class.
I think my murderous nightmare from last night is because I'm planning to see Black Mass this Friday. Yesterday, I was watching TV when a preview for the movie came on, and Kiki asked me, "Whats' that?" I threw my hand over her eyes, and said, "Thats scary stuff, Kiki. Don't watch." She moved my hand, and stared at the TV, with the same rubber-neck interest as passing a car accident.