The Fat Jewish on Girls

Duck's butt tuft on my head

I follow The Fat Jewish on Instagram. If you haven't heard of him, he's kind of a big deal in the digital world. He was in the press lately because he got a book deal, and this upset people because he's more of a curator rather than a writer. He posts funny pictures that he's pinched from other people. He also manufactures wine, which makes me suspect that he's really a high society bitch, who likens himself a people's person because he dons absurd clothes, looking like a modern day clown.

I started following him a couple weeks ago, and chuckled at some funny posts, but then it became clear most of his posts make fun of "white girls." His wine is called, "white girl rose," so its a marketing schtick, but seriously, if white girls are his demographic, how is degrading them going to boost sales? What kind of woman is willing to buy his wine, aside from his Upper East Side gal pals who feel they're part of an inside joke.
His most common cheap blows at white girls are for taking selfies, but I'm calling bullshit. I follow a wide array of people on Instagram, and there seems to be no difference in who selfies. For example, three women I follow are Jennifer Lopez, Amber Rose, and Taylor Swift, and they all post selfies the same way. There doesn't seem to be a difference in how Taylor Swift, the white girl, does it compared to the non-white girls.
I'd like to see The Fat Jewish start posting jokes on how black girls act, or how Chinese men are, he wouldn't dare because, even though it looks like he has a 17 inch dick growing out of his head, he is really a giant pussy, who foresees the backlash for sounding like a stereotyping racist.

My hair is looking like a FUBAR disaster because I thought I was a fucking hairstylist to the stars and cinged a good portion of my hair into one inch horse hay. I am tempted to cut it off, but the last time I tried to cut my own hair I looked like a mushroom head, complete with a circumcised penis silhouette. Besides, I finally learned from my recent hair fuck up, I need to stop doing my own hair.
While I was bleaching my hair, I had a conversation in my head on how I am a great hair stylist, and how hair is not rocket science, but as I started combing large clumps of hair from my head, I swallowed hard, fearing I was going to end up bald. I took a selfie in celebration of not loosing all my hair. I recently posted another selfie of the short hairs sprouting from the top of my head, looking like I just left jail, with the tagline, "My chemical hair cut gave me a tuft of hair resembling a ducks butt."
Since my hair is starting to look like how I feel on the inside, unhinged, I think it would be best to shave my head. I try very hard to bury my feelings deep inside, and now they're starting to eek through my hair follicles, and it isn't pretty. I guess I'm too narcissistic to laugh with The Fat Jewish, and I can't relate to his over generalizing white girls because, I'm special, damn it. I'd be a bit more impressed if he could hone in on me.
An idea for his next white girl degradation, post a picture of a woman in front of laptop, snapping fingers to music, with a tower of Coors Light stacking up. The tagline will say "An hour of Steve Earle and peeing every five minutes level of hydration; this white girl's ready to break the cyber fourth wall."