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| I spilled soda on my computer minutes after taking this pic |
We've been eating ham since Sunday. It might not seem that long, four days, but breakfast, lunch, and dinner with the same salty meat is grossing me out. I ended up with a monstrous hunk of meat after waiting in line at The Honey Baked Ham store, getting to the cashier, and him telling me they were out of small size hams. The hundreds of people lined up behind me made my judgement cloudy because I wasn't able to properly think, "Is buying a $70 ham a good idea? And will we be able to eat all of this?"
What I thought was, I might regret not buying the ham, and then I will have to wait in that long ass line again, and thats if I'm lucky enough they haven't sold out of them for Easter.
My cousin is babysitting the kids this week because the usual is on a ski vacation. I remember when my cousin was 5 years old and we went to Limited Too where my sister bought her a knitted poncho. Then we went next door and I bought a two inch mini skirt from Bebe that I paired with stilettos because Sex and the City was the rage then and chicks were working the hell out of heels. My cousin is graduating from high school this year and moving off to LA in the fall.
I'm at work, and just returned from the cafeteria to get a bottle of water. I was stopped by someone with a bunch of petitions to sign. Usually I'd run away, fake mute, or just give the universal signal for "I'm about to shit my pants and need to run to the bathroom," which is pointing to my butthole and mouthing "I'm sorry." But I felt bad for this person, standing in the sun with her clipboards, and I signed all her damn petitions. I had to write my address which makes me nervous she might come and kill me later. I tried to get out of it initially by saying, "I'm actually in a hurry and need to buy water."
Then she said, "Oh, I have a bottle of water here, you can have it. It's unopened."
I didn't want to express on my face what I was thinking in my head which is, "How do I know you didn't inject this bottle with GHB, or worse, Visine?"
I reluctantly took it, but was hinting at my unlikeliness to drink it by continuously asking, "Are you sure you don't want this? You are going to get hot? The sun is really beating down right now."
She said, "Oh, yes. Take it. I have other plans."
"Oh really, and what's that?"
She said, "Soda."
Even water can be tiring. I decided to get a soda too, and I'll take this water home to feed to my plants. Then I'll eat ham while my cousin tells me what she did with the kids. She'll remember this when they're graduating from high school. Hopefully, the ham will be gone by then.
What I thought was, I might regret not buying the ham, and then I will have to wait in that long ass line again, and thats if I'm lucky enough they haven't sold out of them for Easter.
My cousin is babysitting the kids this week because the usual is on a ski vacation. I remember when my cousin was 5 years old and we went to Limited Too where my sister bought her a knitted poncho. Then we went next door and I bought a two inch mini skirt from Bebe that I paired with stilettos because Sex and the City was the rage then and chicks were working the hell out of heels. My cousin is graduating from high school this year and moving off to LA in the fall.
I'm at work, and just returned from the cafeteria to get a bottle of water. I was stopped by someone with a bunch of petitions to sign. Usually I'd run away, fake mute, or just give the universal signal for "I'm about to shit my pants and need to run to the bathroom," which is pointing to my butthole and mouthing "I'm sorry." But I felt bad for this person, standing in the sun with her clipboards, and I signed all her damn petitions. I had to write my address which makes me nervous she might come and kill me later. I tried to get out of it initially by saying, "I'm actually in a hurry and need to buy water."
Then she said, "Oh, I have a bottle of water here, you can have it. It's unopened."
I didn't want to express on my face what I was thinking in my head which is, "How do I know you didn't inject this bottle with GHB, or worse, Visine?"
I reluctantly took it, but was hinting at my unlikeliness to drink it by continuously asking, "Are you sure you don't want this? You are going to get hot? The sun is really beating down right now."
She said, "Oh, yes. Take it. I have other plans."
"Oh really, and what's that?"
She said, "Soda."
Even water can be tiring. I decided to get a soda too, and I'll take this water home to feed to my plants. Then I'll eat ham while my cousin tells me what she did with the kids. She'll remember this when they're graduating from high school. Hopefully, the ham will be gone by then.
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