Hello, Alicia. It's me, Alicia. Who?

Consulting my intuition

Yesterday I had a doubtful day. After receiving a rejection notice, I worried about what I'm doing with my life. I don't like feeling wayward. Shouldn't my ten year plan be a paved path with roadsigns and directions?

There are signs, but having the ability to read them is the ticket to self-assurance. Feeling a lack of clarity, I googled Third Eye, and read about ways to channel intuition. My cyber search led me to articles on auras. I read instructions on reading auras, which used the term "fuzzy vision" to explain the easiest way to see someone's aura. Most articles said, reading auras of adults can be difficult due to modern materialism.

I can easily do "fuzzy vision" to my eyes. Laying in bed at night, when I stare at the ceiling, it starts to swirl. Or sometimes, I will sit on the toilet, and stare off at the stucco texture on the bathroom wall till it starts swirling. I don't know the technical term for it, but I think it's from my eyes not blinking and water building up, making me see through a watery lens, and giving my vision a waving, swirling effect. 

I thought being able to give myself swirling vision is a somewhat unique gift, kind of like ladies who can make themselves cum by sitting cross legged and mentally focusing on climaxing, driving them to orgasm without any physical touch. My swirly vision gift is much less awesome than orgasming on command, but  being able to trip without taking hallucinogens is still pretty cool.

I was reading the aura article while putting Kiki to bed. She laid next to me, and I tested out my ability. I fuzzy visioned on her profile, and shortly after saw a thin green color outlining her profile. Later, I told my husband that I was trying aura reading, and I wanted to see his. He laid on the bed and I fuzzy visioned on his face. He was harder to get a color from. The awkwardness of going cross-eyed while staring into his face could have been distracting, plus, he kept moving around. After he pulled off his prized Frye boots, and stayed still, laying on his back so I could stare at his profile rather than face-to-face, I think I saw brown, but it wasn't as clear. I let him know his materialism is blocking his aura. We started laughing, and he said, "You're not convincing me with your ability."

As I read characteristics of aura colors, I figured I'm presently blue because of the "cries easily" description. Yesterday the kids and I were driving and a song brought me to tears. It is called "They Come Back." It's about anxieties with being dropped off at daycare by a parent. The song goes, "Who says she's gonna come back? Momma does, thats who. Whoever takes care of you comes back, because they do love you."

My daughter had me play the song on repeat and she looked out the window, deeply contemplative, absorbing the song's message. I looked at her in the rearview mirror, and started tearing up, thinking about her worrying if I will pick her up from school or doubting my love as I leave her with the teacher. Just thinking she has a shred of doubt that I love her completely brought me to tears.
Another characteristic of a blue aura is having a hard time listening to intuition. Since this is exactly the reason why I started looking into third eye and auras, I figure it's time to consult an expert. Next week, I'm going to see a psychic healer. I want her to try and clear the airways, so I can get a better idea of what I'm telling myself. 

Wow, I'm sounding a little bonkers. "Do you hear your self, Alicia?"
"Umm, no. Not, really."