Big news today, Barbie now comes in all shapes and sizes. Well, not big news because I don't think anyone has taken Barbie seriously for, oh, um, well, like ten years.
Mattel must have spent their 2016 marketing budget on the TIME magazine cover story where the tagline reads, "Now can we stop talking about my body."
Hmmm, quite a contradiction.
Mattel's stock didn't seem to jump. It's actually valued slightly less than it was on Monday.
It might turn out to be effective marketing, they are the professionals, but from where I stand, I don't think I'm rushing out to buy a Barbie just because she has a fat ass. I see this more as the pornification of Barbie, she has morphed into modern sex pot, a la Kim Kardashian or Amber Rose. I don't think this is a point of liberation or implying lack of subjectivity.
In the photos were shown Big Booty Barbie in her business lady attire or casual clothes. I'm curious what she looks like under the clothes. I wonder how they "keep it real" in the nude. Does she have a fanny pack looking FUPA, or some cellulite on her ass?
Currently, my fanny pack FUPA is at max capacity. I ate four bowls of cereal for dinner, and now I feel like I could explode. I call it, Cereal Expansion. I'm sedentary, and in pain because cereal seems to quadruple in size after it's been eaten. Considering I've coined a name for this situation, I do this too often. I didn't think Cereal Expansion would hit me this hard because Honey Nut Cheerios is gluten free, which means it's basically a Super Food.
Good God, listen to me. Rambling on about my Big Booty Barbie problems. Ugh, there are bigger problems in the world. *hair flip*
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