Sports Butt Bra

Give the Grinches the biggest tree!

I'm spending Christmas at a posh resort in Scottsdale, Arizona. It's been pretty relaxing. Of course, I have a gripe; the other guests are terribly unfriendly people who seem to have forgotten to take their butt plugs out. I was explaining this to somebody, the cold disposition of the guests with their noses in the air, "You would think being so damn rich would make these fucking people a tad bit happier."

Who knows though, they are spending Christmas at a resort which could mean they have been excommunicated from great big holiday functions, so perhaps the group was predisposed to being the unlikable, miserable people.

I do love the fitness center. Each treadmill has its own TV with working cable. This morning I listened to music and watched the movie He's Just Not Into You. The movie is grade-F terrible, steaming pile of dog doo doo, but it's not so bad when it's on mute because it becomes less obvious that Kate Hudson is the villain, a woman who gets her freak on and drinks cocktails to the point where she's spewing out truths no one wants to hear. And Jennifer Goodwin is much less likable, with her puppy dog eyes, always crying because she doesn't have the balls to tell the guy she loves, "Lets fuck!"

As I was pounding away on the treadmill, I felt the effects of eating close the three pounds of See's Chocolates last week, my ass was jiggling, filling in the void for the ambrosia salad thats extinct from holiday feasts. I looked in the mirror next to me and noticed the bikes behind me were filled with a couple grandpas, whose eyes were locked in on my butt. This is when I thought of the butt sports bra. It'd be like for tits, but for ass. Keeping it from bouncing around like I'm trying to get tips.
After the workout, I hauled my ass back to the hotel to get ready for the day. I think I did my part in helping morale around this place, although it wasn't the Grinch's heart that grew three sizes.

The sprites