Fat Theory

Eating Taco Hell was not a sexual experience

I was walking around the mall in Sacramento yesterday. I bought a great jacket for fall, and then went from the air conditioned shopping center to the scorching outside world. Some of my family went to the California state fair a couple weeks ago, and my mom came back with only one thing to report, "I can't believe how fat people are!" I thought she'd complain about the asinine timing of having a fair in the dead of summer instead of waiting till the remarkable early winter temperatures, but it was the agonized looking subset of our population who teeter on immobile. I noticed the fat she was taken aback by as I walked around the mall. Severe obesity does't look good on people. There is no cheerful glow on someone who looks as if they can barely walk, and the tortured look while moving from one bench to another is communicable.
When I lived in London someone asked me, "Isn't is crazy how fat Americans are?" I had no idea Americans were so fat because I lived in Tahoe where there is an outdoorsy athletic disposition, even with stoners, so obesity was never an obvious problem. Then I lived in LA where the population is best described as amazingly good looking. The rest of the world need not feel bad, the LA population can just as easily be summed up as narcissistic, shallow and lacking intelligence.
I did not see Fat America until I moved to Sacramento. Wow, Sacramento has some serious fat people. Not chubby, or chunky or plump, but ass dragging on the floor, gimping on a cane, wearing a makeshift dress from a shower curtain, fat.
It is hard to imagine how one gets so enormous. After a certain point, say, the inability to walk up a flight of stairs without feeling like death was approaching, it would be an easy decision to eat carrots until falling back into one of the chubby/chunky/plump categories.

My best fat theory is that severely obese people are hyper sexual, and the sensations from consuming food is satiating sexual cravings and because they continuously want to feel these feelings, the compulsion to keep eating is impossible to control. It's easier to eat Oreos on the couch than have sex, or even jerk off, so the availability to have sexual sensations without having to do any work, aside from chomping on food, makes it easy to get fat as fuck, and feel good while doing it.
I came to this theory when I was thinking of the extreme passion a severely obese person must have. They've allowed their love of eating to derail them from living a mobile life. To have that kind of passion, a passion where personal health is an afterthought, well they must be sexually consumed. The biggest problem is they are too enormous to fuck, so I guess they just keep on eating because they need to fulfill their sexual cravings. The vicious cycle?

Since I'm not a psychologist, I don't know of brain trickery to divert pleasure from food to pleasure from not having food. Maybe there could be a pill where a person orgasms from walking, so they just fucking want to walk all the time. No time to eat because they are on a 10 hour pleasure path. That would really slim down the population. If you want to be addicted to drugs, food or sex, go ahead, it's your own damn life. But, like seeing crack heads or prostitutes, it's sad to see a severely obese person because it is like looking at death. I don't think everyone needs to look fit. Look at LA. The stupidity must be noxious to an intellectual. But lethally fat isn't painting to good a portrait of intellect either. Even if the pleasure pill could cure extreme obesity, I doubt it'd make it to the market. The FDA does't want people to get better if it means there will be a loss in spending somewhere else. How will they make up for all that unsought food? I guess severely obese people are fucked, which is exactly what this fat theory thinks they want. (not the same kind of fucked :( )