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| I am invisible when the TV is on, unless I want to nap |
Aside from ruining my most expensive pair of prison panties with a stain that ends up looking more like a result of poop than blood, I'd say most of my period woes come in the days leading up to the start.
I go through three or four days of anguish, usually brought on by food consumption and feeling like I have no control over myself. I eat like it is my last meal, all day long and then I feel like I have the energy of a snail, which could be attributed as much to overeating as PMS. I tend to dress a bit sluttier, have weird dreams, and my sense of smell is heightened.
Yesterday, I could have live tweeted my pre-period. My morning run was a trip down memory lane triggered by my hound dog sense of smell. The flowers I smell at the start smell like flowers at zoo by the chimpanzee exhibit, so I pictured the chimps and all their sadness, including their exploding buttonholes. Then I went back to childhood after smelling the delicious aroma of Nurmberger sausages, which was actually a combination of Jimboys Tacos and Noah's Bagels. I rounded Hobo Hangout, and as I passed a vagrant who was joining his comrades after probably just waking up in a gutter around the corner, I smelled spilt beer and stale smoke. I thought of waking up the morning after partying hard, and smelling my puffy jacket which sponged up all my debauctery from the night before. I gave him a good morning nod, and was soon home.
My daughter has a cold, so we had good reason to stay in. Staying in only made me go back and forth from the fridge to the computer. I ate nonstop for a couple hours, and felt so lethargic that I needed a nap. I put the kids's German film on, and after not getting to sleep on the first play thru, I decided to give it another go, and pushed Play Again.
I now know a way to break my children's focus from TV, try to take a nap. My trying to nap is the only thing that has pulled them away from TV so far. All they wanted to do was sit on my head.
My period should start tomorrow, and I will be feeling much better. I will live tweet how I deflated, and my appetite shrank. It sounds so condescending, it should be greeted with loads of "How nice for you, batch!" comments, but whatchagonnado. I'm a hound dog, and for three to four days a month I am crying all the time. It just happens to be the three days before my period starts.
I go through three or four days of anguish, usually brought on by food consumption and feeling like I have no control over myself. I eat like it is my last meal, all day long and then I feel like I have the energy of a snail, which could be attributed as much to overeating as PMS. I tend to dress a bit sluttier, have weird dreams, and my sense of smell is heightened.
Yesterday, I could have live tweeted my pre-period. My morning run was a trip down memory lane triggered by my hound dog sense of smell. The flowers I smell at the start smell like flowers at zoo by the chimpanzee exhibit, so I pictured the chimps and all their sadness, including their exploding buttonholes. Then I went back to childhood after smelling the delicious aroma of Nurmberger sausages, which was actually a combination of Jimboys Tacos and Noah's Bagels. I rounded Hobo Hangout, and as I passed a vagrant who was joining his comrades after probably just waking up in a gutter around the corner, I smelled spilt beer and stale smoke. I thought of waking up the morning after partying hard, and smelling my puffy jacket which sponged up all my debauctery from the night before. I gave him a good morning nod, and was soon home.
My daughter has a cold, so we had good reason to stay in. Staying in only made me go back and forth from the fridge to the computer. I ate nonstop for a couple hours, and felt so lethargic that I needed a nap. I put the kids's German film on, and after not getting to sleep on the first play thru, I decided to give it another go, and pushed Play Again.
I now know a way to break my children's focus from TV, try to take a nap. My trying to nap is the only thing that has pulled them away from TV so far. All they wanted to do was sit on my head.
My period should start tomorrow, and I will be feeling much better. I will live tweet how I deflated, and my appetite shrank. It sounds so condescending, it should be greeted with loads of "How nice for you, batch!" comments, but whatchagonnado. I'm a hound dog, and for three to four days a month I am crying all the time. It just happens to be the three days before my period starts.
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