Boy the Boy While Loving Hello Kitty

Anyone would love this robe! George says, "So cute!"

Kiki wont use any sippy cups, plates or silverware that her little brother uses. She refuses to touch it. If I forget about her anxiety, and accidentally pull something out for her to use that George uses, she stands straight up, with her arms stretching down and her neck stretching up, and screams a loud yell of annoyance, basically, saying, “How dare you?!”

I don’t know why she still holds this contempt, and has to draw a line on ways that differentiate her from George. She might be one of those people who grows up and says, “I don’t like babies!”

These kind of people are akin to the emoticon haters, slightly dead inside. After hearing someone proclaim, “I hate babies!” I usually think, “They’d probably hate you too.”

I don’t think anyone likes babies that much. They are a fucking lot of work, and never allow the fun to reach it’s potential peak. Kiki was never much of a baby lover. When George was a little baby, she would frequently tell me, “Put the baby down for a nap.”

All throughout her life she has never been interested in babies. For the most part, she ignore s them and considers herself more equal with the baby’s parent whom she befriends.

Lately, kiki only uses 3 plates; a Minnie Mouse plate, a purple plate, and a yellow plate. Yesterday I tried to get her a pumpkin plate she got at Halloween, and she did her “How dare you” screech and said, “That is a boy plate.” I am guessing this is something she learned in school because I have never said anything like that before regarding any of their toys, clothes or eating utensils.

I would guess 80% of our toys are gender specific, girl, because Kiki was first and she is spoiled rotten by all her relatives, mainly my mom and sister. It is really hard to find gender-neutral toys. Going to Target or Wal-Mart, there is a boy toy aisle and a girl toy aisle, and nothing in between.

With all the girl toys around, George has his favorites; dancing to the Barbie Magic Door CD, reading Hello Kitty, Pinkalicious and the disturbing followup, Purplicious. His favorite book is called I’m a Big Sister and he makes me read it to him 10 times in a row before I have to hide it behind the couch cushion.

Kiki gets really jealous when George starts to take on ownership of one of her toys. She actually rejects it, much like any sippy cup or plate he has used. She will not read Hello Kitty, Pinkalicious or I’m a Big Sister with George and me anymore, however, when George is napping or asleep for the night, she likes to curl up and read all the books he fancies so much. I can sense her delight too, I think it is because it makes her feel like she is The Baby again, and not The Big Sister.

When George was a baby people would come up and admire him and then say, “he is all boy!” An unusual comment since we never assign gender percentages to ourselves. Maybe I am 95% woman, if it weren’t for that mother fucking annoying hair I have to tweeze off my face every couple days.

George acts completely opposite Kiki in many ways. Firstly, he is much more adventurous. Kiki is so cautious, and it took her till she was over two and a half before she even started to jump. She climbs play structures at the park, as if they might fall apart any minute, clutching to the handrail and moving slower than a snail toward the slide. George, on the other hand, figured out how to ride a scooter right after walking. He can run up the structure to the slide on an endless loop, and will only stop if I dangle candy at him.

When my daughter was a baby I took her to a baby music program, and there was a Russian mom in the class who had a boy the same age as my daughter. The mom was always chasing after her boy and saying things like, “Don’t do that, you are a boy.” The boy had an older sister who was 6, so he probably had a house full of girl stuff to play with too. The mom was just trying to keep her boy from being a Hello Kitty loving sissy, but I don’t think there is any way to stop a baby from seeing the lure of Hello Kitty. She is totally cute, and that is why everyone loves her.

Its good to let little boys like Hello Kitty now because they will get older, and feel the cultural pressure to reject all things girly, and walk around yanking at their weewee in public. Gross. I hope George never turns into one of those kinds of kids.

If that happens, I will have to pull out some of that Russian shaming tactics, “You are a human George, not a Chimpanzee. See those opposable thumbs you have? That means you cant touch yourself in public, unless you are getting paid big bucks to do so, and feel you are the one in control of the situation.”

Here is George giving me a lesson on bulimia, in a subtle way: