It's A Boy

The 2nd time, I looked like I was having twins. An improvement.

Both of my sisters are pregnant, and the excitement is boiling over with their due dates approaching. My older sister is 8 months pregnant, and this past week she has been approached twice by strangers who seem clairvoyant as they tell her about the baby and upcoming birth.
My sister works in health care, so the first person she spoke with was a patient. The lady told my sister she is having a boy, she can tell the baby is moving down into position, and the birth will be relatively easy. She believes the baby will be a boy because my sister is vibrant, smiling a lot, and has such shiny hair. The lady took it a step further by discussing my other sister's pregnancy, who resides on the other side of the US, giving details about her upcoming birth.
Lacey didn't really take this lady too seriously, but I was intrigued by her all knowingness, I had to get details. "What was she like?" I asked.
My sister said, in a much more medical way, that the lady is a junkie on the mend. I never really thought about it, but I see how someone with unrecognized psychic abilities would turn to drugs and alcohol. They'd be picking up on all these added emotions or images, and along with the good comes the bad, and be overwhelmed by the sadness and crave the relief drugs provide, dulling receptors.

The second person Lacey spoke with is an eighty year old man who said he could tell she is having a boy because she has such a strong, loud voice. He said he delivered his best friend's baby in 1968. Guessing accurately on the baby's gender, given the odds, doesn't really make him a psychic, but his confidence in the guess was impressive. Thats what delivering a friend's baby in an emergency will get you.

My sister looks really good. When I was pregnant with Kiki I spiraled from adorable Zoey Deschanel hipster looking gal to, umm, well, I don't want to say it because it could come out as ugliest.
My office friend Tiqua told me a month in that I should not be showing so early on, and I better watch it or I'll turn into a blimp. She was speaking from her personal experience, but I didn't listen because I'm on my own journey. A month later, I developed clinical acne from my hormones going fucking crazy, and Tiqua said, "You're having a girl. I can tell. She stole your beauty."
I didn't know the baby's gender then, but Tiqua was right. I told her on the elevator after finding out, and she laughed, in an I-told-you-so moment. I completed her prophecy by gaining over seventy pounds. The last few weeks of the pregnancy, I busted the seams on most of my maternity pants. The week before I gave birth, I was told by a dickhead, middle-aged man at 7-11 that I looked like I was having triplets.
A year after my daughter was born, I returned to my old self, and the next week I found out I was pregnant again. I decided I'd do things differently the second time around. I wasn't going to eat a giant burrito and follow it up with a pint of ice cream every night, and I succeeded in only gaining fifty pounds. I was terrified expecting the the zits to pop up, and when they didn't come, I knew I was having a boy. My beauty remained in-tact.

If anyone asks me, "Are you having more kids?" I make a face like I'm going to barf, and scream, "Noooooooo!" because pregnancy, child birth and not sleeping for a year is rewarding, but very very hard. Secretly, I would have another one, but only if I knew for certain it'd be a girl, so Kiki could have a sister. That's not going to happen before my ovaries stop dropping eggs, so I'm very happy with what I've got. We've got our health, happiness, and good looks, even if it went dormant for a little while.