Stress Relief

Yesterday I had the flu. It wasn't a head-in-the-toilet-and-fever type of flu but my joints were aching and my body temperature swung from freezing to sweltering every ten minutes. My body has been in mayhem since Saturday when I woke up with a cold sore itching my lip. That was the day of my brother's wedding, so my sister and I went on a Valtrex mission in Salt Lake City so I could stop the cold sore from getting any bigger. After an hour at CVS, I got my medication and started taking high doses a couple times a day before the lip sore started to eat my face.
I told my grandma the next day at lunch, "I have no stress, I don't know why I got a cold sore!"
As I told her this, George ran around us like a tasmanian devil, and occasionally I'd frantically chase him down before he ran into the valet parking lane. She looked at me like You're delusional.

We returned to Sacramento, and the flu picked through my husband and me. The kids probably had it first, and we didn't notice because the fever was low grade and the only obvious ailment has been congestion. This flu is best described as being severely hungover, and anyone knows, pairing a severe hangover with parenting is a fast way to bring on sobriety.
My husband had the flu first. I didn't really believe him, so I glared at him as I frequently passed the bedroom, watching him lay in bed while I played with the kids. The next morning he was cured, and flew to Las Vegas for work, and I thought I was coming down with a terminal illness. I always like to advocate being married to someone who travels a lot for work. It's the perfect prescription to any marriage, time apart. But as I lay on the couch wishing I could go take a nap, I thought, well having a partner who is gone a third of the month does have a drawback, someone to take over parenting duties when on death's doorstep.

The day we left Salt Lake we spent some time in my parents' hotel room. My dad tickled George till he peed his pants, and then they watched a movie. I told my parents how I feel a lot better now that I quit drinking, but I think I need a weekend a year where I meet my sister in an undisclosed location, so we can party down. Then I'll return home and suffer through a hungover-parenting day, and swear off booze for 365 days. My dad said, "That's a terrible idea." and my mom said, "Can I come?"

Of course it would start out as a great time, but I'd probably end up getting arrested for pissing behind a dumpster, or even worse, someone would record me trying to fuck an aspen tree, and that shit would go viral. Then I'd get a cold sore.

If I can't get Valtrex, I could buy a mask