Unimpressed Impression

I saw Hamilton!

I randomly bought a Fingerling puppet today. It's the hot ticket item this holiday season. I was looking at beef jerky in Target and heard a woman on her walkie-talkie say, "We have six fingerling puppets."
I peeped my head out from the aisle, and all the employees stocking, heckled me. I approached the woman, and she said she could sell one per customer. I seized the opportunity, and then got G a couple power rangers action figures to balance the Christmas load.
Another woman approached her, unaware of the obscurity, it was dumb luck because the fingerling was number one on her kid's list. After getting the toy, she asked about LOL dolls, which was what I initially asked her. She wasn't so lucky with that request.

LOL dolls are the subject of ridiculous YouTube videos my kids will do just about anything so they can watch.  The dolls are an inch big and cost $2.99, but because of Christmas they're unavailable except on ebay for hundreds of dollars.
The lady shared with us her teenage daughter's Christmas list "Oh, no. You got to hear this..."
Below fingerlings, and LOL dolls, was a hoover board. A collective laugh followed. Then she said the next item, an iPhone, and we all doubled over. It was hysterical, and sad, laughing at this girl's expense.

The holidays have been good to me. I easily put on a 5 pound winter coat. It's a bit more enjoyable in conjunction with being on my own. I've stopped shaving regularly. My blonde friends regale me with stories of their ceasing to shave, and how they notice they're hairy within a month. I  point out that a month of not shaving on my end would be entering a state of chimpanzee. Note to self - stock up on razors for the apocalypse. But one pleasure in having zero concern for body hair beyond two weeks; pubes are actually quite slimming, offsetting the gain.

A couple nights ago I had a dream, I'm going to call it a nightmare, where my still-legal-husband, a friend from the past and I had a three some. I woke up and felt like a disgusting pig. That only made the dream flash back at me more. The night following I was able to replace the stain on my mind with a new dream I had about someone I fell for before I married. Whenever I dream of this man, it's always the same, I see him, and then I can't find him again.

I went to New York last weekend. It was a quick yet awesome trip. The first day was rough. My brother and I are not tight, and so it's always drama. I cried and blah. blah, blah, but we made up. The second day, I was able to brunch with an old friend, stroll through Brooklyn and then see Hamilton (!!!!) When I went to the ticket window the day before I asked the man, "Do you sell discount tickets day of?"
Then he had a nice laugh at my expense, and said, "No."
After we chatted a bit, he asked when I could see it, and I let him know it was either that day or the next, but I only need one ticket. He gave me this look, and the thought entered my mind, this guy is doing me a solid, and in my heart I sent him love beams like crazy.
He said he found a seat for me at the cheapest price, so I bought it. When I walked into the show, I was 8 rows back from the center stage! It was fucking amazing. The woman next to me was getting her buzz on, and I get it, but then she started singing along, and I had to give her a side eye that shouted, "Bitch! You are not qualified to be singing right now. These people have been training their whole lives for this shit."

Thank goodness, she was with her teenage daughter, whose heightened sense of social awareness, forced her to slap her mom on the arm and tell her to pipe down.

When I came back from NY and swooped my kids up, I told them I watched Hamilton, and said it was the best musical I've seen.  After I greeted my daughter in the morning by singing, "You knock me out, I fell apart.." she shook her head and said, "I don't feel like singing."
She burned out on my singing and high kicking through our day.

Tonight I saw their Christmas pageant. We scored unbelievable seats again because we came in the side door and beat the line, a scheisse way to go about it. It was for naught, because when my daughter went to perform she was blocked by the podium, so I had to stand in the aisle way to watch, and my heart melted. My son was amazing as well. I found them after the performance and said, " I change my mind... That was the best musical I've ever seen, and my world is on fire."

Of course, they were unimpressed. They knew it.