Cockamamie

Put the phone down

Last night I was laying in bed next to Kiki. We finished reading her books, and although I'm supposed to be sleep training her, I figured I'd just go to sleep too, so I started to read my phone.
I began my nighttime online reading circuit where I usually do, Dlisted. Afternoon Crumbs is a compiled list of links to more articles about celeb culture. I clicked the link to a Jezebel article where the journalist gives a bitchy, but funny, rant after going to a RHONY party, and wasn't allowed to get a gift bag that was supposedly better than the gift bags at the Oscars.
As I read this article, in my head, Kiki rolled over to me and said, "Where are the gift bags?"
I was astounded, to be honest. What the fuck, is this kid reading my damn mind?
Then she rolled back over and started talking about Mimi, that's my Mom, and where she put her gift bags.
Was it a huge coincidence, or is my kid some kind of mind reader? I'm not too sure. But I'm going to be paying much more attention to my thoughts, and her words.

Kiki eventually fell asleep, and I read further as Michael K hilariously analyzed celebrity culture. If Jonathan Gold can get a Pulitzer for writing about Pho, then Michael K should get one for writing about celebrities.
There was a post about Jen Aniston talking to a bunch of kids in France because she won a lifetime achievement award. They asked her how do we get more female representation in film. And her answer was, "Women need to put their phones down and start writing screenplays!"
It was good advice, for me, at least. Since I'm constantly giving myself a stern talking to about getting the fuck off Facebook, and working on something important.
Honestly, I can't help myself. I get a second of mindlessness, and I unwillingly click open a tab, and start scrolling through Facebook. I had to stop Facebook for two years because it was such a drain of my time, but I needed to get back on for my blog, and it's been nice to see everyone again. I've never been good with moderation though, so I have to police myself to be sure I don't let an hour go by as I'm liking everyone's pictures.

I'm in the midst of a two week stint of personal time. My summer school courses ended, and my kids are in preschool till the end of July, so I've been able to dedicate myself to finishing my screenplay. It's awesome, and really, the first time in four years I've been able to spend daytime hours working on a writing project.
Of course, some people don't see how uncommon this is, and act like I'm being a prissy bitch who puts her kids in daycare so I can sit at home painting my finger nails and taking Pinterest selfies.

I talked to my sister yesterday who said, "Are the kids still in preschool?"
My response to this question I've faced ten times over the last week, "Yes, they have school till Thursday, then we are going on our big summer vacation."
"Oh, they are going to like that. They probably want to spend time with their mommy."
The undercut. I didn't reply in a sarcastic tone, "Oh you mean they don't hate me. I was just looking into toddler boarding school for them."
Instead I replied, "Yep, and I really like hanging out with them too. Thats why we hang out so much. Anyways its been nice chatting with you."
It's always great to have people tell me I'm being selfish when I'm doing something that is important to me. NOT. Isn't it more selfish to not act on goals, and then live as a pathetic martyr, a victim, someone who couldn't achieve their dreams because they were too busy enslaved to their family? I wouldn't know because I'm not going that route.
I don't think my sister realized how unsupportive her comment was. In fact, I know she didn't. She was tired, having just finished work, and probably hungry, and just felt like saying something rude to me. But there is the lack. How can we bolster each other, and support our goals, if there is always this guilt being shoved down our throat that we aren't doing enough for our family.

The thing is, there is never enough. There can always be more, and higher expectations. So, live like a man. They don't feel bad for going to work. In fact, they celebrate it. They acknowledge, my working is making my family prosper. It's a beautiful feeling to know that what you do is helping people you love, instead of being told the opposite.

There is the double standard. I can thank Ms. Jennifer Anniston for helping me see the light, and put the damn phone down so I can get to work. And I have to adjust my own thoughts, and my frame of mind because someone important, someone who I tell can do anything she wants, just might be listening, and I don't want her to ever stop going for what she wants because of some cockamamie bullshit, a false sense of guilt that her aspirations are damaging her family.

Snapshot of the "Gift Bags" post