The Gorilla Baby Snatcher

Not really

All week I've been forced to watched the video of a gorilla dragging a toddler around his Gorilla Kingdom pen. The video is quite the topic on the morning talk shows, plastered all over the flat screens hanging from the gym celling. The TVs are on mute, but I've pieced the story together through the ticker tape running on the bottom of the screen.

The gorilla was killed for dragging the baby around, and today I watched the backlash from animal activists. I think its fucked up the mom is being blamed for "looking at her cell phone." Gorilla Kingdom has displaced the blame onto the poor mom. Why not build a fucking exhibit where a toddler can't crawl over the wall, because guess what, sometimes mom is going to tie her shoe, or read a text message, or even take a selfie.

My friend wanted to rail in on the mom. She said, "There were accounts of the child saying he wanted to climb over, and she wasn't listening to him."
"Really? That sounds a bit convenient. The witness is probably a Gorilla Kingdom employee whose getting a gigantic Christmas bonus."

I went on, "This is a clear case of assisted suicide. If the gorilla really wanted to kill that little kid, he'd have crushed his brain the moment he grabbed a hold of him. Instead he dragged him around, hoping to get a dart to the neck. He was probably saying, 'Put me out of my fucking misery.'"

I don't think the animal activists are too keen on just how awful it would be to live in a zoo with the intellect of a primate. Trapped in a contained pen, littered with his doodoo, having nothing interesting to do, and then getting probed and rape/jerked-off all the time so your sperm can be used to make many more animals to live in cages. If they believe the gorilla prefer to live, it means his shitty existence would have only become shittier, since he'd probably have to go through his normal life of suffering but without his only pleasure, getting to go outside in his tiny jungle themed pen.

Even though these morning shows are on mute (thank goodness) it's obvious they're missing the point; zoos are fucked up, and the animals would probably prefer to be dead than live in them. Instead they run their mouths on how moms who read their cell phones are terrible parents who don't care about their kids safety.