Incoming Call

I fear I've been had. I had my tarot cards read yesterday, and what a terribly underwhelming experience that was. When I walked in she was chatting on her cell phone and drinking a red bull. That sight alone, her curled up on a shabby couch, with a bag of McDonalds at her feet, was when I realized I was in the presence of someone who probably went to a Psychic Sylvia Browne convention a decade ago, and then opened up a store front, where, for fifty bucks, she'll tell ladies their life is going to be great.
I should have done better research, instead I chose a place that was close to my house and had a decent rating on Yelp. After posting my personal Yelp review, I noticed there were only two other reviews. I felt guilty for calling her out on being a hack on Yelp; it was my responsibility to call her out in the moment, and say, "I don't feel like giving you money. I already know I'm going to be successful, I have complicated relationships, and a lot of good things are coming my way." If I want a confidence boost, I call my mom, who really loves to point out how good I am at kicking ass and taking names, free of charge. So my Yelp complaint feels terribly passive-aggresive.

My mom lost her cell phone last week, and then it was stolen. She was shopping, and forgot it in the bathroom. After remembering, and running back to get it, the phone was gone. She went to customer service, and told them her phone went missing. The woman behind the counter was over compensating, and it rubbed my mom the wrong way. She kept saying, "I haven't been to the bathroom all day."
My mom went home and did the "find my phone" app, then tracked the phone, drove over to the house it was at, and knocked on the front door. She then met the over compensating customer service woman's boyfriend, who said he didn't know where she was, but the phone had been powered off by now, and so they were unable to find it.
My mom and the boyfriend were in touch over the next 24 hours, and my mom put the pressure on, basically saying, "All I want is my phone back. I won't tell the store she stole it."
After hearing the story up to this point, I worried about my mom's safety. I begged her to stop talking with them, call it a loss, but go ahead and call the store to rat her out.
My mom didn't hear anything I said, and replied, "I'm going to giver her a couple more hours."
The woman threw the phone in a field, and my mom met her there, where they searched the tall grass looking for the phone. A call came in a couple hours after my warning, and the screen read "Mom." I picked up the phone, "By golly woman, you did it!"
Then, very impressed by her fearlessness, I asked, "You didn't think it was scary she asked to meet in an empty field? Weren't you worried she was going to kill you?"
"God, no."

I spent my hard earned mother's day present on that stupid reading, then I regretted writing a dumb Yelp review where I complained about feeling cheated. My mom would have probably told the lady right after the first, "I sense there has been some troubles in your past."
"Yes, dummy. I am a grown ass woman. I sense there will be trouble in your future if you don't let me go without paying you for wasting my time."
I'm going to put my desire for psychic consulting to bed, for a bit, at least till I'm rich enough to indulge in it without feeling like I'm compromising my kids' college fund, and according to my reading, thats not too far off, sometime in the fall or towards the end of the year. I guess hearing that I'll have a windfall of career success in the fall, was worth the fifty bucks.
It does feel good to be told great things are happening, and that I'm as much of a bad ass as I think I am, but it's sort of like putting on a blue shirt and then paying someone to tell me I'm wearing a blue shirt.
I'm going to delete my Yelp review. It was a good learning experience to see a crooked (ninja turtle) psychic, and now I know who to call next time my mom's lost her phone and I need a confidence boost.