Slow Your Roll

While I was jogging a car slowed down, pulling up next to me with the window down. Before I was able to enter full blown panic and search the jogging stroller for an effective weapon to kill this kidnapper, my neighbor hollered out the window, "Go, Ashley. Go!"
Relieved, I shouted thanks and gave her a wave. It was surprising to see my neighbor. I haven't seen her in months, and the last time I saw her she looked worse than my Grandfather on the day he died. I assumed she had died, and her husband stashed her body in the garage so he could continue collecting her social security checks.
Her method of pulling up next to me is criminal, inducing fight or flight mode while I'm totally defenseless and usually with small kids. Since she has risen from the dead, in my mind, I will give her a pass. Next time though, I can't be certain I'll be able to refrain from spraying mace in her face. A life lesson from my mother is to always assume strangers are going to rape and kill me. I'd say this rule of thumb has put me on edge throughout life.
Last night on Instagram I read a post with the hashtag Bye Felicia. I googled "Bye Felicia" and learned its an expression used when someone you don't care about is leaving. My neighbor has called me Ashley for the last three years, and I've never corrected her because I don't care what she calls me since the depth of our relationship is waving hands at each other every couple months. I am the Felicia to her "Bye Felicia," but next time she sneaks up on me in her Oldsmobile I will correct her. I suppose the awkwardness, and the unlikeliness that she will remember Alicia, will make it so she never wants to pull over and say hello again. Non-violence wins again!

Being as paranoid as I am, I don't have any worries about the reverse situation; a pedestrian confronting me while I am in my car. My sister called me this afternoon, laughing as she told me how a man hollered at her while she was stopped at a red light. She was gnawing on her fingernail when she heard someone yell, "Hey Girl!! Stop chewing on your fingernails. That is a bad habit!"
She looked over and saw an older homeless man sitting on a stoop looking at her. She pulled her finger out of her mouth, and laughed loudly and smiled at the man for the friendly reminder. Then, they both said, "Bye Felicia," and she drove away (I made up that last part.)