Running Skirt Serves Purpose

Running shorts under the skirt make sure you don't show your badge if you fall down

My daughter started watching a cartoon about a cat sheriff. It's a cute show where the animals speak in an old western accent saying things like "reckon" or "partner" and they break out in song, some really catchy country music. I have an old brown sweater vest I gave to her to wear, just like the cat sheriff. The vest hangs past her knees, but she doesn't seem to mind, as now in her mind she IS the cat sheriff. Everyone else in the family is a character from the show. I am now called, "Priscilla," which is a pretty great name. At the playground, my daughter calling me by a first name, only adds to the speculation that I am my super pale white-haired daughter's nanny.

The intro song to the cartoon is the sheriff cat singing, and in it, she points out the badge on her vest. My daughter, similarly, points out the imaginary badge on her vest. However, when she says badge, it sounds more like "vag," pronounced "vadge," like vagina. I tried correcting her a couple times, but I don't want to make her feel like she is doing something wrong, since she isn't. I can just imagine her at preschool talking to her already skeptical teachers about her "vadge."

I call her my Little Lady since she turned out to be a super feminine gal. Her stance on only wearing dresses and skirts is bordering on anti-feminist. Her fascination with make up is pretty fanatical. I can lure her from the edge of any meltdown with the promise of using lip gloss. If it weren't for her gut busting appreciation for poop jokes and desire to strip down to her underwear whenever seeing water or a sofa, she might be able to join the lady advisors overseeing Kate Middleton. 

My daughter gets her super lady sensibilities from my mother. My mother takes 2 hours to get ready for the day and she inherited this beauty process from her own mom, my grandma Jackie, who takes 3 hours to get ready. When I'm at my parents house my daughter stands next to my mom and participates in the entire beautification process. 

My daughter gets a bit sensitive when I pick her up from school in jogging clothes. She always asks me, "are you sweaty?" If I am, she will shriek and scream, "don't touch me." It's a bit much, but my mom is the same way. To her, wearing jogging clothes in public when not jogging is as wild as wearing pajamas. She actually thinks jogging is pretty ludicrous, and likes to blame any affliction or illness I have on "that jogging." My mom bought me a jogging skirt, which I laughed at and tucked in the back of my closet. It seemed unnecessary to put a skirt over running shorts, but lately it comes in very handy because I can pick up my daughter from school wearing it, and she is so proud of me for dressing like a lady by wearing a skirt. 

George is making out with himself