Rainy Day Play Time

Tomorrow I will stand in rain for easy hair wash

The rain has come and it seems like it is staying for a while. I am not going to complain since California is as dry as… uh, well think of something really dry. Did you say overworked starts-with-p-ends-in-y? Sucio fuck! You totally did. Well, fuck it. You said it, an overworked pussy. So California is finally getting the lube job its been needing for sometime. Thank you to all those people doing the lube dance.

I went to the mall today in order to beat the stir crazies. That was a huge mistake because the real crazies were at the mall since it is much drier than the freeway underpass they usually reside under. After my kids and I sat down next to the play area with our Hot Dog On A Stick lemonade and French fries some total fucking nut started pacing the kids play area. He was without children, and looked like he was off his much needed meds, so we decided to skedaddle before he whipped out an AK-47 and started gunning everyone down.

We went to the Nordstrom ladies “Lounge,” which is a bathroom, with a huge adjoining room that has soft velvet couches and mirrors. So nice, especially since the food court bathroom usually has poo smeared on the wall. Nords bathroom is insider info for mall rats. The only challenge is making it through the store without being lured into to buying something. They got me this time! Ahhh!

After we came home, I looked at the clock and it was only 11am. Don’t judge, but yes, we were eating fries at 9:30am. So, I had a moment of, “oh fuck, we ate fast food for a midmorning snack,” as well as, “what the hell are we going to do for the next 8 hours?” The rats go to bed at 7pm, with the youngest taking a nice 2 hour nap midday, but still, that is a lot of hours to sit and read, clean up spills, try to convince them that swan diving off the sofa

Fucking Weirdo, doing guns, as hippie
Carmen Sandiego

is a bad idea, and constantly shush the inner voice seductively whispering to me, “Turn on Doc McStuffins, then you can surf the web and relax.”

We ended up killing a lot of time playing in my room. I was pulling out clothes from my closet and seeing what kooky outfits I could come up with. My daughter, as usual, was being very demanding and ordering me around. She wants me to drape her in every article of clothing I have with glitter, sparkles or sequins. Then she walks around dragging them across the dirty floor leading to unnecessary laundry and stretching the seams beyond their intended strength. She also comments on everything I put on. Usually she says, “Take that off,” to any piece of clothing that is not a dress, skirt, pink, purple, or sparkles in some way (I am not too sure how I over girled-the-girl, but it really has me questioning nature vs. nurture.) The baby wandered around collecting things and putting them in handbags, then stacking toilet paper rolls.

Now it is after 7, and the kids are fast asleep, and I am looking at a house that is destroyed. Luckily it is going to rain all day tomorrow because we are waking up and cleaning!