Abridged Brain Exercises

I found my baby’s monitor yesterday. It was under the sofa, even though I am pretty sure I looked under there a couple times before finding it. I think my brain is mushy lately. It could be temporary damage from too many libations during the Turkey Day festivities, or because I forgot to take my fish oil when I went out of town. Most likely, it is because I have not been reading before bed because I forgot my book when I went out of town and since being home I have been catching up on all my DVR shows that mainly consists of House Hunters International.

I have been double dosing on fish oil to catch up. My daughter calls them my brain meds. We usually play out a dramatic scene as I take my vitamins. I am feigning illness, and she shouts for me to hurry up and take my medication. Unless I use my brain for a bit more than watching TV shows where people complain about the paint on the wall, or reading kids’ books then I guess this fish oil is a fruitless endeavor. Even though it is quite a brain exercise practicing how to pronounce Quetzalcoatlus from the baby book on dinosaurs.

Concentrating

During 5^th grade my sister’s teacher stood in front of the class and asked the students if they have heard of a book called Moby Dick. My sister’s hand shot in the air and she announced, “Of course! I have read Moby Dick like 5 times already!” Her teacher likely shot her an excuse moi look, and then carried on with what she was talking about. By 5^th grade my sister had read the equivalent of a college English major, the only difference is her books were called, The Great Illustrated Classics. The Great Illustrated Classics are adapted versions of classic novels. My mom frequently bought us these books. They are a font size 16 and have a picture on every other page, so it takes an hour to read a novel that in reality would take a couple weeks. If you are ever looking for some bragging rights, go around and tell people that you read Gulliver’s Travels in 45 minutes.

I have The Confederacy of Dunces on my bedside, again. I think I have started this book and put it down at least 5 times. When I go through my books in the garage I always pull it out because I want to finish it. I think Neon Bible is a great book, and people only have rave reviews for COD, but for one reason or another I put it down midway through, and then have to start at the beginning when I start it again. I can perfectly call to memory when Ignatius’s mom drunk drives their car into the balcony after they have watered down drinks and pastries at a dive bar. It is as if the book and I have a negative attraction working against us. I don’t even set it down because I am bored. I usually get a new book that I have been looking forward to reading, and it gets first priority.

After I finish the book I am reading now, I am back on COD! This time I am not going to put the book down until I finish it. I already looked it up, and it is not available in The Great Illustrated Classics. Whan whan whan.