Waters All Around

Water: delicious and free

When we went to a restaurant as a kid, my dad always said the same thing to the waitress as she'd approach the table with her notepad in hand, "We'll have 7 waters."
My proclivity to save money the same way my dad does, extra frugal, has led me to generally order water when were out (and reuse ziplock bags).
So after I married a beverage orderer it took some getting used to. I die inside when we go out to breakfast and the waitress asks for our drink order, and he says, "I'll take a chamomile tea, and orange juice."
"Really, you need two drinks!"
Then she asks, "fresh squeezed?"
I'm shaking my head, "don't do it..."
"Of course!" he says.
The spinning wheels totaling up our check are going a hundred rounds per minute, and eventually stop at $75. After she leaves I can't help myself, "Why do you need to spend ten bucks on non-alcoholic beverages? Fresh squeezed? Just eat an orange when we get home."
"Have you tried that other stuff? It's not real orange juice." he points out.
"Its Tampico or Sunny D, both of which are delicious, a fine orange juice substitute."

The couple dollar splurge on Diet Coke always requires brainstorming, but I never had any problem shelling out cash to buy five back-to-back pints of beer. The restaurant up charge on beer is perfectly acceptable because its an experience. Currently I'm on drinking hiatus because I can't control myself, and that doesn't mix well with little ones. Plus, I don't need a case built up against me and amended to a legal zoom.
Instead of having a cute drinking habit with gals pals, it turned into a messy party for one where I was last woman standing, celebrating life in a very destructive way. Social media is the worst thing that could happen to someone who becomes unhinged when they drink, so when I post a selfie with the tagline, #this-bitch-loves-to-get-drunk, it doesn't go over as well as I intended, which was to demonstrate my sophisticated beer palate enjoying the nuances a fine ale provides.

I finished Catastrophe season 2 on Amazon. Sadly, I gobbled up all 6 episodes in one night, and now it's over. I suppose I'll just have to watch it again. My favorite part was when Rob tells Sharon he's thought about drinking again, after he's really rich, in his sixties, and can hire a babysitter to follow him around. I've told my sister that before! I just need to hire a babysitter, who will throw me over their shoulder and put me in bed when I turn into Alicia Hyde.

There's a goal. And until I'm at that point, it's just more money in the bank because I'll be ordering water, and if I'm really feeling crazy, orange juice substitute.