Bee Please: Horoscope Nailed It

Captain Fry and The Iron Maiden

"My mommy has a camel's toe in her shorts!" Kiki shouted at my brother who flew into town from Salt Lake City.

He looked at me wide eyed and laughed while I shook my head in disbelief that she'd remember my comment from the weekend before.

My brother was getting ready for a last minute job interview, and was asking advice on shoe/belt/shirt/pant combinations. He came to town to say goodbye to my grandpa whose worsening health had the family worried.

Two days before my brother and I went to see my grandfather who was on hospice at his home. My uncles had a changing of the guard and I stood next to him with the heaviest heart and an absent voice.

We all tried to chat, which was torturous. I made a very unwelcome joke about seeing trails from the morphine.

I apologized, and walked away. I took a breath and said to myself, "you have to say what's important."

I came back to him, sitting in his chair, with his swollen feet resting on a square ottoman. I knelt next to him and put my hand on his, and through a closing throat and tear blurred eyes, I told him I love him, I will miss him so much and will always think of him. He was relieved to hear what I said, and replied, "I wish I knew what to tell you," with a look of longing and sadness confirming he didn't want to go.

After awhile my brother and I left, saying we'd be back the next day. With the kids in bed we started to have beers. We kept it going on for a while, talking about our family and how fucking lucky we are, and our grandfather who we became very close with as our lives interwove through this point in his eighties.

Around two in the morning we were outside talking. He was mid story and my bladder was bursting, so I yelled, "I'm peeing in the yard, I can't hold it any more!"

He said, "that's a great idea," and went pee in the grass too.

We were laughing so hard I nearly fell over. Matt said, "If pops saw that, he'd be laughing too."

We turned in, and then I woke up to the news that my grandpa passed away in the night. I cried like my 3 year old, loud and uncontrollably.

The next day we went to my Aunt and Uncle's house for a BBQ. It was nice to talk about Pops to his sister and brother who flew in from Illinois, and made it in time to say goodbye.

When I came home and laid in bed, I figured my discomfort was heartburn. I felt like I was filling up inside. I laid there for an hour unable to sleep, and decided to walk to the bathroom. Right after standing, I felt the vomit coming. I raced to the bathroom and threw up for thirty painful minutes, kicking myself for not being a better cleaning lady, so I could have curled up on the cold tile floor instead of balancing over the commode with one arm. I drank water and went in to sleep with the baby.

I woke up feeling awful, took my daughter to school, then, breaking codes of household conduct, turned on the TV for George hoping he'd be less destructive with the distraction of cartoons.

I told my brother I felt like I had the worst hangover of my life, and in a slow California surfer tone he said, "Bummer dude. All of the pain and none of the fun."

I nicked a garbage can on the roadside with my car when I drove to pick up Kiki, and then regained strict concentration on driving. When we returned home I found the thermometer and it read 105.

I took Tylenol and drank a Gatorade, then fell asleep. Each time I woke up my temperature went down and I became more of a sopping sweaty mess.

The next morning I woke up feeling so much better. Thumbing thru Twitter, AstrologyZone let me know May 22, the day before, was the saddest day of the year. I thought about the day before; feeling like my skull was caving in on itself, a soaring fever and the stream of tears that poured down my cheeks thinking of my grandpa, and I agreed completely that it had to be.

We drove to Tahoe to be with my parents, and accompany them to an event for my grandpa hosted by his long time friends. It was nice to see my Dad open up, and to hear stories from their past. My grandpa's best friend, who perpetually hit on my giggling mother throughout my entire life, flattered her more in a very Bridget Jones moment when he replied, "Oh, I don't know about that," to my mom's comment, "oh, she's more beautiful than me."

We had to cut out early because after two Shirley Temples Kiki was about to do back flips while screaming, "Yeeeeeeee!"

After we came home, and a long time of her tossing and turning in bed, she managed to rest enough to drift off. She said, "You're hugging me too tight." I loosened my hug and started gently combing my fingers through her hair to relax her. With closed eyes, she told me to comb the other side too.

She will never know Pops more than through pictures and stories but he was always amused by her. It makes me think of my kids, and how their life will be with my parents. I kept thinking about having kids young, and the perfect reason would be so the kids can know their grandparents, become friends as adults, and, hopefully, learn how to rock a beret and Adidas track suit like a boss.